our stamps

i spend 300% of my time exaggerating art rinses the eyes i bought a bad thesaurus it's really bad how bad it is being honest won't get you a lot of friends, just good ones i hate being bipolar it's awesome i'm a chick magnet but my polarity is reversed proudly serving my corporate masters this website has gone 4 days without an accident no, thank you, i do not wish to share your screen empowered women empower women exaggerators anonymous a trillion strong and growing an expert is someone who is one page ahead in the manual have you heard about this? it's a pronoun to identify a specific thing a hippo is really heavy a zippo is a little lighter to make holy water, take regular water and boil the hell out of it i dyslexia heart a picture of a line and underneath it says i had to draw the line somewhere discontinue use of this blog if irritation occurs language was invented because stones and clubs didn't hurt enough love is friendship set on fire men with an earring make the best husbands. they can take pain and know how to buy jewelry my husband's wife is really amazing no good reason to stay is a good reason to go i'm not really a webmaster but i play one on the internet real men do sparkle reasons are why we do things steps to take in case of fire: really big ones the system is you of course i'm right i'm testosterone free of course i'm right i'm estrogen free i'm uncertain about quantum mechanics don't judge me based on your ignorance portal to another dimension. use with care my other car is a tardis the dyslexic cow says oom no i was not drunk when i wrote this this message has been digitized for use on modern computers


we're a system named zpires. it's like we're roommates, but instead of living in the same apartment, we live in the same body. when you're talking to us, you're on the front porch, and whoever's "fronting" is sitting there with you.

we conceptualize ourselves as a house. there are doors that lead to rooms that serve different purposes. some of us practically live on the front porch, others aren't interested in porches, and others come and go.

generally, at any given time, there's 2-4 people who regularly come out to say hi, but there's still a full house inside. two (with caveats) of us are even part of the "house" itself.

we come from different places and have our own identities: names, ages, likes, things we're good at, behavior, etc. as such, we're a collection of people who take turns sharing physical existence.

collectively, we are:

  • neurodivergent
  • trans/nonbinary
  • queer
  • 28 yrs old
  • alterhuman

check out stuff we like here!

current front porchers


curious alien pixie grl

practical and self-assured, she tends the house garden.

  • pronouns: shi/hir (pronounced like she/her), she/her, and pix/pix/pix/pix/pixelf
  • color: purple
  • creative nonfiction and genre fiction, editor of both
  • autistic, adhd, dyslexia
  • astrological sign: leo
  • flower: daisy, or maybe sunflower
  • bonus: it's pronounced like "juliette."



moody and creative, she's been writing on the porch.

  • pronouns: she/her
  • color: red
  • poet
  • autistic, adhd, bipolar
  • astrological sign: cancer
  • flower: rose
  • bonus: she's dating teresa.


>:3 alien queen

dreamy and sharp all at once, she mostly whispers in maddy's ear through the window.

  • pronouns: she/her
  • color: cyan
  • muse
  • bipolar
  • astrological sign: leo
  • flower: oleander
  • bonus: yes, the oc.


french pull-apart monkey bread

he doesn't even go here.

  • pronouns: he/him
  • color: blood orange
  • strong masculine presence
  • his brain is broken but in a bad normal way
  • astrological sign: scorpio
  • flower: camellia sounds nice
  • bonus: it's michels all the way down.

our pets

lil mint green bunny with a neon pink face Adopt one today! a pink blob a peach shaped kat It's tamaNOTchi! Click to feed! Visit my Flaming Katy in Flowergame! These pets are constantly charged with electricity. They are incredibly high energy and enjoy chewing wires. Get yours at ClownFredZone pink goatling named hairdresser. check out goatlings.com

our badges

100% foolstill not kingmj marijuanagoldfish<freak>pizza!!!'love' with male and female symbols blinking so it has male/female, female/female, male/maleno software patentsvanillasmoking allowedslurpeesteamsuxelf lovei heart cokepridehate thursdayneopets.commoz firefox100% porkchopfuck nazismonday poetryfuck gendernight coderrated nc17got cow?as seen on tvban ea gamessplit identityweird ?!?!?


we have feelings about feelings about art in online spaces. in our manifesto, we make declarations.