zpires

TF2

team fortress 2 (tf2) is a multiplayer first-person shooter (fps) where you play as a member of the BLU team or the RED team as one of 9 different classes.

personal statistics

best moments

most points 59 (as Medic)
most kills 18 (as Soldier)
most assists 27 (as Medic)
most captures 14 (as Heavy)
most defenses 4 (as Pyro)
most damage 5350 (as Engineer)
most destruction 9 (as Scout)
most dominations 5 (as Medic)
longest life 25:28
most healing 16852 (as Medic)
most invulns 13 (as Medic)
most kills by sentry 11 (as Engineer)
most teleports 52 (as Engineer)
most headshots 5 (as Sniper)
most backstabs 6 (as Spy)

classes we play

Medic

  • main class
  • healing and support

Pyro

  • secondary class
  • ambush predator

Soldier

  • for when no one's doing anything
  • thank you random crits

Engineer

  • when there's too many medics
  • literal auto-aim

Scout

  • for emergencies
  • pushes and caps

our favorite weapons

MEDIC

a crossbow with a bell, holiday twinkle lights, and a ribbon

long-distance romance

*blows you a kiss*

  • weapon: festive crusader's crossbow
  • kills: 2239
  • killstreaker: hypno-beam
  • sheen: mean green
a solid gold cylindrical beam emitter

happy anniversary! 10/10/10

our love defies description

  • weapon: festivized australium medi-gun
  • ubers: 5247
  • kill assists: 10037
  • killstreaker: singularity
  • sheen: agonizing emerald
a black and red cylindrical beam emitter with holiday twinkle lights wrapped around it

pretty girl's pocket pistol

"if you're reading this, my boyfriend loves you <3"

  • weapon: strange festivized kritzkrieg
  • ubers: 311
  • kill assists: 777
  • allied healing done: 92560
  • killstreaker: cerebral discharge
  • sheen: agonizing emerald
cylindrical beam emitter filled with red juice

just a quickie

"keep safety in mind; it'll save your behind"

  • weapon: strange festivized quick-fix
  • ubers: 1615
  • kill assists: 3747
  • killstreaker: tornado
  • sheen: mean green
a pretty bonesaw

kisses

"pucker up, buttercup!"

  • weapon: strange civic duty mk. ii ubersaw
  • kills: 1597
  • killstreaker: flames
  • sheen: mean green

PYRO

a red flame thrower with a white flower pattern

flame thrower

australian festivized professional killstreak bloom buffed

  • kills: 7842
  • medics killed that have full ubercharge: 8
  • killstreaks ended: 39
  • player hits: 282326
  • killstreaker: flames
  • sheen: mean green

SOLDIER

a thin and compact rocket launcher

direct hit

professional killstreak

  • killstreaker: incinerator
  • sheen: deadly daffodil

shotgun

spectacularly lethal gift wrapped

  • kills: 345

SCOUT

a double barreled hand gun with red and yellow BONK soda advertising

scattergun

positively inhumane professional killstreak bonk varnished

  • kills: 863
  • damage dealt: 253744
  • point blank kills: 33
  • scouts killed: 176
  • killstreaker: incinerator
  • sheen: hot rod
a yellow double barreled hand gun with a pizza topping pattern

scattergun

pizza polished

a futuristic pistol

the c.a.p.p.e.r

Cosmetics

MEDIC

three fluorescent lights glued to some wires that wrap around your head

love is blind

  • hat: halogen headlamp
  • unusual effect: cloud 9

unusual gauzed gaze

  • unusual effect: green confetti
  • paint color: indubitably green
green surgical mask and cap with microscopic goggles
red surgical mask and cap with microscopic goggles

points hat

"i've scored a lot of points with this hat on"

  • hat: strange gauzed gaze
  • points scored: 39407
  • medics killed with full ubercharge: 2
  • paint color: team spirit

legendary foppish physician

  • points scored: 6003
  • paint color: operator's overalls
  • style: epaulettes
  • halloween effect: voices from below
a jacket in the style of a pompous british person with epaulettes